Everything about Thumb Wars totally explained
Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle is a
1999 short film directed by
Steve Oedekerk. Using dressed up and coifed thumbs as
puppets — Oedekerk created a
spoof of the space drama
Star Wars with characters such as Loke Groundrunner (parody of
Luke Skywalker), Princess Bunhead (parody of
Princess Leia), Oobedoob Scoobydooby Benubi (parody of
Obi-wan Kenobi), Hand Duet (parody of
Han Solo), Crunchy (parody of
Chewbacca), Beboobeep (parody of
R2-D2), Prissypeo (parody of
C-3PO) and Black Helmet Man (parody of archvillain
Darth Vader). Thumb Wars debuted on
American television
May 18,
1999, on
UPN. The TV version provided a trimmed down version of the film.
Storyline
The 29-minute film opens with a parody of
Star Wars'
"A long time ago..." phrase: "If there were thumbs in space and they were mad at each other there would be... THUMB WARS."
The film then cuts to rolling text flying into the distance, as in Star Wars: "It is a time of great unrest in the Universe. Using the nail side of the power of
the Thumb, the
Evil Thumbpire has taken a stronghold in the Sacul region of the Egroeg sector." (Sacul and Egroeg are backwards references to Star Wars series creator
George Lucas.) "The
Thumbellion Resistance Fighters have retreated to a hidden base. The Thumbpire is constructing a big dangerous weapon thing with enough fire power to blow stuff up. If the Thumbellion can destroy the big dangerous weapon thing, that'll live and the good side of the thumb will reign. If they don't there can be no sequels. No sequels means no merchandising, no fan clubs, no freaky guys at conventions that have way too much free time and no clear desire to date girls. Victory is imperative!"
Opening scenes depict the evil Black Helmet Man capturing Princess Bunhead and killing Thumbellion soldiers. On the surface of the planet below, Loke Groundrunner whines to his aunt and uncle about wanting to be of use to someone. His uncle consoles him. "Well you're plenty useful here Loke. The harvest is soon and you'll be getting help! I bought a couple of digits (
droids) today from the freaky little hooded creatures (
Jawas). The big one is sort of effeminate and annoying, and I think the little one has an amputee inside!" Loke runs off in a huff and meets up with Oobiedoob
Scooby-Dooby Benubi (aka Oobie). At Oobie's place, they view a
hologram of Princess Bunhead. She informs them that Black Helmet Man is building a "big, dangerous weapon thing" and that she needs their help. Loke and Oobie look up her holographic dress. After they viewed the message, they came back to Loke's house to find that his uncle Soondead and aunt Gonna Biteit have been 'clipped' by Black Helmet Man's troops. Loke determines to go and fight this evil menace.
At the Cantina, Loke and Oobie meet up with Crunchy and Hand Duet. Referencing various Harrison Ford movie titles, Hand tells us, "A one armed man killed my wife
Sabrina, a
Working Girl. Now I'm a
Fugitive and in
Clear and Present Danger. I should be
Presumed Innocent but they're playing
Patriot Games with me.
Raiders,
Regarding Henry,
Blade Runner,
Air Force One..."
Loke and Oobie pay Hand and Crunchy in "girly giggles" at Hand's request. The group boards Hand's ship
Han's Hand (a
Millennium Falcon knock-off) and set off to save the Princess and the galaxy. They are caught in a tractor beam outside of the giant thumb-shaped
Death Star which can spin planets until its residents get sick. Once on the space station, Oobie and Black Helmet Man engage in a final duel, which Oobie is tricked into losing. The Princess appears and says, "I escaped somehow. Let's go." The team, minus Oobie, flee. However, Oobie's voice can be heard in Loke's head saying that he's still there "in spirit."
The group hides in an asteroid where Loke meets Master Puppet (a parody of
Yoda.) Master Puppet agrees to train Loke in the ways of The Thumb. After a training session which Loke ends up failing miserably, Master Puppet caves in and dubs Loke a Thumb master.
The group travels to the Thumbellion base to regroup for the final attack on the Death Thumb. They learn that there's a button on the station designed to blow the entire thing up, much to the confusion of Princess Bunhead. The Thumbellion fleet launches an attack on the station. This sets the stage for the final confrontation between Loke Groundrunner and Black Helmet atop Loke's X-wing. It is then that Black Helmet Man reveals: "Loke, I'm your...MOTHER!" and throws his cape back to reveal a pink dress that he's been wearing. Loke responds by yelling, "Noooooooo!" until
Han's Hand appears and knocks Black Helmet Man off into space.
Oobie's voice is heard saying to use the ship's targeting system to target the button, as opposed to Obi-Wan telling Luke the opposite; to use The Force. Loke fires a missile which hits the button and the giant thumb is destroyed.
The last scene shows the cast at a 'Chili Cookoff', along with the ghost of Oobie and Master Puppet (An arm is seen holding Master Puppet). The film ends with a voiceover from Oobie: "The Thumb will be with you...always."
Releases
Thumb Wars was first released on
VHS, and then again with additional features, including character bios, commentary, and a 'Gabba the Butt' interview, on
DVD.
It is also available as part of the
Thumb Wars/Thumbtanic Double Feature on DVD and
UMD for the
PlayStation Portable, released by
O Entertainment and
Image Entertainment. This disc features the two Thumbation filmettes
Thumbtanic and Thumb Wars in that order. It also includes wraparound footage of The Thumbersons. Despite including the Cast Interviews from Thumbtanic and the Gabba the Butt interview and Character Bios from Thumb Wars, the film lacks the commentary available on the single-film releases.
Further Information
Get more info on 'Thumb Wars'.
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